Why this might have worked out for some people; for some others it is a very disastrous experience. Distance relationship is a difficult relationship to handle and it only takes mature minds to handle. Distance relationship is not in any way meant for teenagers; they find it difficult to handle and at the end it turns out to be a waste of time. Before you go into a distance relationship, there need to be an understanding by both parties involved.
Most times even when there is an understanding, if one of the parties involved is not strong at heart or not supposedly wisened by age then it poses a threat to the relationship. Sincerely, if you cannot handle it, then do not start it at all.
Before you start off a distance relationship, there has to be a solid base before distance sets in. There has to be memories to fall back on, there has to be crazy happenings; a whole lot of sexual and intimate experience is imperative at this point; both parties need to leave something to fall back on so that in absence the feeling still remains strong. Well, in all fairness it takes the will of God and also strong will from both parties for this to happen. If you would have to leave your fiancé/fiancée for a long distance make sure you discuss this and understand the implications of what you are about to get into. First and foremost, both parties need to know their strengths and weaknesses. I would never go into a distance relationship with a lady that is very emotional; the reason is not far fetched. Chances are that she might get used to some other guy who is closer to her distance wise than you are; when this happens, she begins to act funny, changes in attitude and the way she responds to you. If she is truthful enough she might tell you there is another guy getting close to her, she might want to make you understand that there is nothing much going on but one day my dear friend, when she needs you to hold on to her, when she needs a shoulder too cry on, when she not only needs to talk to you on phone but to touch you and sink in your arms; and you happen not to be around her, I tell you the closer guy gets all the benefit. Even though there are emotional ladies that could be strong for you when you are far away, but it’s only in rare cases.
I once had a distance relationship; we barely spent a week together before we started off in a relationship. Though we were friends before we started off, but even at the friendship level we were not very close friends. I tried to make her understand what she was going into but she believed she could handle it, deep down inside of me I knew I could discipline myself a whole lot to handle this but I was really not convinced about her because she was a teenager who was still full of life and energy; I knew it would get to a point where she would want to explore and enjoy the good things of life with someone who is more closer to her than I was. Well, the relationship started up smoothly and blissfully with all the sparks and the whole love, love feelings. It felt rosy and seemed like it was not going to end. I tried to be faithful in every way; I am sure you know how difficult it is for a man to stick to one woman especially when he is far away from her. I had the opportunity to see some other girls but I kept up with the self discipline; months went by, I kept on with the calling and text messages. I spent the best part of my weekend composing text messages I was going to send to her during the week; I did this when I started working. Despite the work stress, I still tried to keep in touch and make her feel happy; well it lasted for a while.
It came to a point where things started changing in the relationship, she started acting funny. The sweetness began to disappear, the warm, loving voice on phone became coarse, the love, love feelings began to fade away. She began to sound more like an acquaintance than a lover; she began using unfriendly expressions whenever I called her on phone. I tried to call her to order by making her realize the changes in her attitude; I guess it fell on deaf ears and the more I talked about it, it seemed like I complained a whole lot. Well, the short of it all is that I had to let the bird fly instead of hurting myself.
Most of the distance relationship that thrives is because both are mature in mind and know what they want. We have seen online relationships that lead to real marriages; even though these days we have fake online relationships.lol. Most times we find out that the lady is far past the age of marriage and she has no choice but to stick to the available. Talking about online distance relationships, some start off without ever seeing each other physically. They only believe that they feel the other through their photographs. Well, I have seen some that worked anyway.
What I am trying to pin point is this, you should only start a distance relationship if both parties are mature enough to handle it. You need to understand yourselves a whole lot, you need to spend some time together before you start off. The sparks should always be fresh and memorable in order for the relationship to survive. You could take good intense photographs of yourselves; it keeps it fresh even when you are away from each other. You should always keep in touch through mobile phones, yahoo chat with a webcam, skype, facebook etc. I suggest a cam to cam chat; it helps even though you can’t feel yourself physically. Learn to d crazy things from the far end, there should not be any form of suspicion whatsoever; there needs to be a very high level of trust because the moment you begin to have doubt and trust issue, the relationship is heading for the rocks. Try to visit once in a while; though it might be difficult, if you seize the opportunity to know someone who travels to your partner’s destination, you could send gifts, letters, photos etc. through this medium.
The simple truth is this, if you cannot cope with it then please do not start. You will end up wasting your time; if you think you can handle it, then follow your mind and stick to some of the points above. You are not entirely confined to the words on this page, you could add your own flavors.
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